What angels look like…

Angels…long, flowing white robes. Golden halos. Sparking iridescent wings. Thanks to popular movies and books, these are the common images that come to mind when thinking of angels. And yet, the bible says that angels in disguise are all around us. I agree. I might even upset the heavens by adding my own thoughts about angels. I am beginning to think there are angels who don’t even know they are one. Why would I venture on the boundaries of blaspheme? Because I believe I met one—I met an angel that didn’t even know she was one.

I met her in Farmington, MN on a Sunday evening. She wore a flannel jacket with dog hair and hay scraps on it. She had on faded jeans and casual slide shoes. You’d run into her in the horse aisle at Fleet Farm and assume she was an ordinary customer like yourself. But C. is not. She is an angel. Through her tears, her season of heartache, and the struggles of being a good daughter, she heard my heart. She chose to partner with my dream. She gifted me her “crew” of horses so they could love others—even though it meant they could not stay to love her on her land. THAT IS THE HEART OF AN ANGEL.

We are surrounded by them. Choose to see them. Be encouraged by them. Have hope because we encounter them daily, in their flannel jackets and faded jeans. Thank you C. for being my angel on that very special Sunday.

The Grace of God’s Silence

“Silence is necessary in order to develop a faith that is not dependent on action or feeling. You won’t need to fill the silence with your own assumptions about what God is doing, because your faith will allow for mystery.” —Melissa Maimone in The Radiant Midnight

Admittedly, I have been in my own silent midnight. As Melissa puts it so well in her book, it’s the being stuck in “not yet” and it beginning to feel like “not ever”. It’s a heavy and heart wrenching walk. This dream of our ranch seemingly keeps hitting roadblocks: of time, of resources, of possibilities. And between you and me, I keep getting older (what’s up with that?) and aging feels harder when you feel you are grasping at air to make a dream come true.

Psalm 62 says “For God alone my soul waits in silence.” I won’t share what happened in my quiet time, because it could come off as some magic formula of what to do in your midnight. All of our relationships with God are as unique and individual as we are. But HE BROKE THE SILENCE. And I praise him for it. The vision is bright and alive again…marrying my two passions of math and horses.

This summer Seven Hills will be offering two-week long math enrichment horse camps. The details will be revealed with time, but for now the vision includes a pop up tent , one-on-one with a kiddo for 90 minutes, playing math games and then exploring all the ranch has to offer. My heart leaps for joy even as I type this, thinking of how hearts can and will be touched.

So as I begin to pray and explore the numbers, details, dates, ideas…the digging into YouCubed, setting up Patreon, creating flyers, etc., would you PRAY? What Seven Hills needs now is someone to guide us and set up our 501c status pro-bono. I know God has tapped someone on the shoulder to help. I’m trusting he/she will respond.

“The grace of God’s silence is that you can trust it as much as you can trust His voice.” —Melissa Maimone in The Radiant Midnight

Looking Up…

I know it’s said all the time, almost to a point where your personal heart ache and struggle is belittled by the suggestion of a simple action. When times are tough, you are told to “look up”. When you feel like you cannot move forward another step, again, “look up”. When darkness feels like it is suffocating you, “look up”. And yet in those moments, looking up can feel just as empty, if not more so. Instead of looking at the emptiness of what is in front of me, in looking up I get to try to comprehend the vast emptiness of the sky. Sometimes it doesn’t help. NOT. ONE. BIT. It is asking me to look up to my God for strength that I just don’t see in that moment.

So let me offer a different version in this recent “midnight” season of my life. Lift your head a little. Lift your eyes just enough to catch a glimpse of the “balcony”. Yes. There is a balcony full of people. YOUR PEOPLE. And I guarantee you that they are cheering you on. Because that is what they do in your life. See them so you can hear them…the Jerry’s, the Lana’s, the Tricia’s, the Ed’s. Telling you that YOU CAN DO IT. YOU’VE GOT THIS. Their prayers lift the words that you currently are unable to. Their voices root you on through the sticky times when you are pressing through the muck and mire of life.

Personally, I’m so close to this dream, the waiting feels impossible anymore. At times, it can overwhelm me and just get downright defeating. But I lift my head just a little, and I see them. I close my eyes and I can hear them. Cheering us on. Shouting for us to keep pressing forward. They are praying for us…for time, resources, miracles, and our hearts.

We all have balcony people in our lives that are our biggest fans. God put them there—just for you for such a season as this. We all have a balcony that He has placed us in. It may be your season to lift your head a little, or maybe it’s your season to be a head lifter. Either way, I’m thankful to Jesus for the balconies.

What’s in a Name?

There’s so much to a name. I wish I had known that when I named my son Tristan, which we discovered in second grade means “born of sorrow”. We wrestled with that for a bit, and regardless of the sad meaning, I still like the name and would choose it again for him.

So when you have a dream that is so big that it consumes ALL of your heart, how do you even begin to find a name? One word to encompass all the feels, the vision, the hopes, the desires…is rather impossible. And I struggled for many, MANY years for the name of my ranch.

I was turning 40, and it had been my prayer that God would reveal a name for this dream ranch before my 30s came to a close. To celebrate, my future husband took me on a surprise trip to the Riverwalk in Texas. Romantic, right? The lilies in the room (whose fragrance filled the hallways) and the chocolate covered strawberries that greeted me really deserve their own blog spot. In spite of the amazing walks we took and good food we ate, my heart was still aching for one thing—THE name.

On my birthday, Pete took me to the nicest restaurant in town. Ironically, I can’t remember the name, but I do recall the remarkable meal we enjoyed. As we typically do, we got to talking to the server and the sommelier to find out more about them. Ironically again, I cannot remember the names, but I do remember vividly the feeling of connection and humanity. And as all meals do, ours came to an end.

The sommelier returned to our table one last time, and placed a bottle on our table as a gift. We thanked him and wished him well for the night and for his future. Pete and I turned the bottle to read the label, and there it was: Seven Hills. In a combined heartbeat, we both knew that was the name. Seven Hills. It has never been doubted since. Together we plan, dream, and pray for Seven Hills Ranch.

God is faithful. Even when it’s on the eve of your birthday at the end of your meal, He never fails.

When the Shoe drops…

I whipped into the McDonald’s parking lot, heart beating as I parked my car. While throwing my door open, I reached in to grab my coat and purse from the back seat. Trying not to slip in the snow, I made my way to the Ford F250 that was waiting for me with my family inside. And we left for the longest ten-minute drive of the decade.

We were greeted by the warmest smile and brightest blue eyes that you will come across. As Sharon led us to her pasture, I could hardly contain my joy. My girls thought we were there to buy something from their garage, but my husband and I shared the secret—on this Tuesday, we were meeting our first two horses for the ranch. Danny and Frankie. Two miracles that can’t get to our pastures soon enough. And these miracles are a GIFT. Literally…a gift. Sharon is gifting us her boys because she believes in the heart of Seven Hills and wants to be a part of it.

Isn’t it beautiful? And yet, if we rewind the clock just ONE week prior when I visited 2nd Chance Ranch, my tears would be revealed coupled with the angst from the waiting. The darkness of doubts. The fears of the impossible. If you saw my income, you would agree. IMPOSSIBLE. And YET….I shout it out “YET!” GOD IS BIGGER. When you partner with Him, He has already made the way and you get to walk the path of the unveiling.

And on that same GIVING Tuesday, I received an email of two other horses that would be a perfect fit that were available for adoption. While we aren’t able to take them at this time, I know there is the great, big, bolded word YET on my banner. The Lord gives, and He gives abundantly.

So if I remain in this space of transparency of my fears and angst mixed with joy and disbelief, I will also admit to you, my dear reader, that there is a part of my spirit that holds its breath. There’s a silent lying whisper in the background of all this goodness…letting me know that something will keep this from happening. Things this good never come through for ME. THE SHOE WILL DROP.

If there’s one thing that I know and stand on, Jesus is more than enough. And if the shoe does happen to drop, HE will give me a second one. And I will put them both on, partner with my amazing Lord, and keep running this race.

“See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.” Isaiah 43:19

2nd Chances

My heart was pounding in my ears. I had been so looking forward to visiting with Renee and Patrick on their ranch…both to take in their incredible set up and to be encouraged to keep believing for mine. After a few necessary reschedules, I finally stepped on 2nd Chance Ranch in Ramsey on the last Tuesday of November. And I was not disappointed. God made sure of that.

As Renee and I walked the impeccable grounds of this ranch that they manage and I listened to their schedule set up, I was inspired by all that could be done. My spirit was thrilled and yet felt heavy simultaneously—how patient I would still need to be (I tell my students all the time that we can feel more than one thing at a time). Renee generously and patiently shared her time with my initial questions…and then was faithful to share her heart as she recognized the heaviness of mine. What a gift. She reminded me that if God called me to Seven Hills ranch, He’s already provided the horses, people, buildings, and means for it to come to fruition. And honestly, for a moment, I wondered if I had been “called”…or was this just a “Robyn’s dream, not God’s dream”.

Saying our goodbyes, I warily walked back to my car. Wondering. Doubts swirling like the autumn leaves. I stopped in my tracks. AND I KNEW. UNDOUBTEDLY THE RANCH IS MY CALLING. I knew it because outdoors on a ranch with my animals is where I feel MOST alive. It’s where my heart worships in its most natural form and I am closest to my loving creator.

Let me share what God revealed to me with that visit…because He is personal and faithful. I have had this inspiration of having a ranch for so long—over 20 years. Slowly over those years, the words “my dream” have become the mantra over Seven Hills. And this seems harmless. Until you listen to the difference to THESE words: “my calling”. Listen again—”my dream” vs. “my calling”. Can you hear it? Can you envision the difference in the postures? “My dream” keeps my hands busy to accomplish something on my own by my own strength. However, “MY CALLING” postures me to join up with my Lord with hands out, where I am called to partner with Him and what HE is doing.

That night as I re-centered on Jesus, it was me who got a second chance, or maybe a third or tenth or one thousandth…I’ve lost count. Fortunately, He doesn’t keep count either.

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” Matthew 11:28-30

The Phoenix

Every heart deserves to be revived.

Last Saturday I had the privilege of visiting Phoenix Farms in Hugo/White Bear Lake. The purpose: to meet the multitude of horses that are in transition. These sweet hearts are in between homes for a variety of reasons: he was a racer and got injured, her owner died and no one else in the family had the capacity to care for her, his owner could no longer care for him. I met Gabe, Tilly, Dasher and so many other equine hearts. To bring just one home in the future will be not a decision I can make, but one the good Lord will need to make for me. If I could have fit one in the back of my Subaru that day, I would have one now. But right now I wait as I go through the steps to be vetted to adopt/foster these beautiful spirits.

In the Horse Club that I run after school, the group shared why we love horses. One friend shared she loved horses because they are cute (yes), another shared she loved horses because they are fun (yes), and a few others agreed that they like horses because you can ride them (yes). I agree with all of these sentiments for sure, but my love for horses runs deep in me for a reason deep in them: the horse’s heart. It is pure. It can’t fake feelings. It is honest. It will tell you how it is. There are no games. The horse with its heart will give everything it can. In my book, the equine heart is a beautiful gift from God. And like all of us, these hearts deserve to be restored and revived. When a horse is bred for a certain purpose and can no longer perform, they don’t deserve to be rejected. There needs to be mercy and grace…just like the mercy and grace offered to us from heaven above. Thank you Phoenix farms, for being the bridge to that gap. And I pray so many of your beautiful equines will find their way to Seven Hills to rise up again from the ashes.

My Spark

Every flame begins with a spark. I think often we don’t even expect the spark…aren’t even looking for it. It can happen with love, with friendships, and with dreams. This is my spark…my dream. Seven Hills.

My name is Robyn. Like every name, there’s a long story behind it. A story that encompasses joy, heartache, pain, fear, success, love, faith, and every other emotion that life can bring. I was born in California, and my dream to open a therapy ranch for the hurting with rescued horses has brought me to Minnesota.

I’ve had this dream for over 20 years. I don’t remember when the spark happened exactly. I just remember that I was on an airplane and my 26 year old son was an infant. With Kim Meeder’s book in my hands, I couldn’t stop the tears. I knew this is what I wanted to do. This is what I was made for…to start my own version of Crystal Peaks.

So here I am, slowly trying to take this spark and fan it into a raging, working, real life ministry of fire. I invite you to join me on this journey. I have the land. I have the passion. Everything else will have to come from the hand of Jesus. Join me in watching Him DO HIS THING.

“But Peter said, ‘I don’t have any silver or gold for you. But I’ll give you what I have.’”

Acts 3:6